


I have your name written down on a list...

by ShadowSelene (Shadowdianne)



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-30
Updated: 2018-12-30
Packaged: 2019-09-30 06:24:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17218637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shadowdianne/pseuds/ShadowSelene
Summary: Regina does her end of year goals check list but notices one item is still unchecked: 1) confess feelings to one Miss Swan, daughter of Snow White and Prince Charming, mother of her Little Prince, pain in her own royal butt.Asked by delirious-comfort





	I have your name written down on a list...

**Author's Note:**

> I still don't know what to think of this one xD Like every other ficlet I write for this evil, lovely woman this one was asked a few hours ago entirely because of my hubris. And yes, I don't actually tease anything on this one. Is teeth-rotting fluff

“Regina? You said you wanted to show me something before the party?”

Standing from the chair she had been seated at ever since she had found the slightly wrinkled paper written in a haste, Regina took a few steps closer to Emma, noticing the way the blonde’s breath hitched for a second, her magic circling her eyes and giving them a glint of dirty white that seeped through the blonde’s cheeks, crackling.

“I wanted to tell you something.” She began, hands in front of her, pressed against her own stomach as she wondered why, why she was letting a year-old list haunt her enough for her to actually try something she had already lost any remaining hope she could have ever had had. Lowering her eyes and glancing at the floor of the office, she almost smiled at the thought of a similar scene, many years ago, when she had remained seated on that chair, eyeing Emma with every bit of anger and hate she had thought to be the only possible feeling she would ever feel about the blonde. Digging her fingers further down her stomach, she glanced up again, at Emma’s worried face in where magic was already dispersing; green eyes scanning her, boring into her, as the blonde’s throat quivered.

Because there must be something on her voice, Regina thought, something that Emma should have caught. As much as she liked to call the other woman an “idiot” Emma truly wasn’t that. And she knew, far far too well, Regina’s mercuric moods.

“We are going to be late to the party.” She muttered, and Regina wanted to snort at that, at the quiet reminder of how they were others waiting for them, expecting them. She half-wondered how many times she had used that very same excuse on herself, that very idea of how there were others beyond the bubble they both managed to create whenever they let themselves to be. Lowering her hands at her sides, she looked briefly at the coffee table in front of the chair she had been seated at, the simple-looking piece of paper there glaring back as Emma followed her eyes, head tilting but not moving either, rooted on the spot.

“Can you give me a few minutes?” Regina could hear the strain on her voice, the quiver and she traitorously let her eyes wander back at Emma’s, at where the blonde’s glove-covered fingers rested, half-poking from the far too constricting pockets of her old red leather jacket. The one that was definetely not fitted for Maine’s cold. She knew, she had seen them already, hundreds of times without the ring she had memorized so long ago. Had even been there when Emma had signed the divorce and yet she needed to refrain herself to ask Emma to show them to her, to see for herself the last months after the merging of the realms hadn’t been a dream. A beautiful dream.

“Regina.” Emma’s voice was tentative, shaky even, but it still lowered slightly at her first syllable, so quiet even that it seemed like the blonde wasn’t even pronouncing it at all.

Shaking her head, Regina rose one single hand, a flurry of purple sparkles rising from the movement, crackling like electricity down her arm as she lowered it again, flat against her side.

“It will only be a few moments. Then we can go.”

It was probably that last line, the implicit promise of how they were going together to whatever party Snow was already throwing, what made Emma hum and glance again at the list sitting at the desk’s surface. It occurred to Regina far too late that the blonde had probably recognized her handwriting, even from the slight distance she was standing from the table, but she truly didn’t want to stop to ponder if the younger woman was actually able to read it.

Closing her eyes for a moment, she pondered if she couldn’t simply let it go. No one but her knew about the contents of the list after all. The fact that Emma wasn’t married anymore shouldn’t… couldn’t…

But it mattered, it mattered to her and that other Regina who had probably written that last entry out of spite. Maybe even drunk if the sloppiness on the “E” and “S” was anything to go by. It mattered in some kind of ludicrous idea because every time Regina tried to pinpoint when it had become so important to her to actually be able to tell Emma how she felt she came with examples upon examples of “almost” moments in where neither of them had been able to neither voice or admit what they thoughts were.

Because if Emma always knew when she was lying Regina also knew how to read Emma’s face; had known for a long time. And so, feeling her magic spiking slightly on her chest, she snapped her fingers and let the paper travel from the table to Emma’s hands, forcing the blonde to take it between her fingers, her usual paleness swapped by the smallest rosiness on her cheeks.

“Your year goals?” And there was some kind of aloofness there, a mix of surprise and just the barest glint of confusion and disappointment and Regina could only chuckle at that, at the way she saw Emma’s shoulders shag ever so slightly, corded muscles relaxing and light disappearing from her eyes.

She wondered why she didn’t question Emma why; why she was the one in need to admit feelings they both knew the other shared. She also knew the answer to that: Fear. And for that she merely pointed at the list, urging Emma to read the single item on the list that hadn’t been checked.

“I don’t remember when I made them exactly.” She let out, her voice less hoarse and tense but still terse and soft, still worried. Nibbling on her bottom lip she chastised herself inwardly as she felt her magic biting her insides, running through her lungs in the form of spikes that made her wince. “But I did. And I would want to check them all out.”

To be entirely honest if Regina would have let herself dream of something like this she wouldn’t have come up with the implausible scenario of giving that list to Emma, but she wanted to give Emma an actual option of feigning confusion instead than being forced to answer a question Regina had already felt on the way the blonde carried herself from a long time.

She had almost acted upon it that day in New York; back into an apartment that had only given her memories with Emma so close, so eager, she had felt the warmth of her magic -the one that was supposedly trapped outside Storybrooke and yet not at all- running through her, making her stumble, almost admit a word, a feeling, she now felt hitting the back of her teeth. Wishing to escape her lips.

She watched as Emma read the list, a shadow of a smile appearing from time to time whenever the easy, stupid, small wishes made its appearance. The ones regarding a healthier life-style, the one asking for a better sleep-pattern, the one who asked more time with Henry, grown up as he was now. Until, of course, green eyes latched onto that last item at the end of the list, her own name staring back at her.

_“Confess feelings to one Miss Swan, daughter of Snow White and Prince Charming, mother of my Little Prince, pain in my own royal butt.”_

Letting out a nervous chuckle, Emma rose her gaze to hers, teeth firmly biting on her bottom lip now.

“I’m still a pain in your butt?” She asked, and there was the same tentative tone, veiled with something else Regina wished that could only be hope. That same hope she had learnt to hate, to discard, time and time again. “I thought we were already past that.”

Rolling her eyes, a little, feeling less nervous but still on the edge, Regina took another step towards Emma, and then another as the blonde didn’t budge, her hands falling to her chest, still holding the paper against it.

“You will always be a pain in my ass.”

It was definetely the use of “ass” what made Emma laugh a little freer and Regina wanted to chuckle at that but felt herself unable to.

“So.” She began, and Emma’s magic sparkled, opening paths on her uncovered skin Regina’s eyes were quick to follow, half wishing to be able to touch them. “I…”

She licked her lips and halted herself, almost taking a step backwards as Emma closed the distance between them with an unusual energic step, unusual at least for the woman who was slowly finding herself after so many years of doing the bidding of the ones who told her how to be, how to behave. Craning her neck, wondering momentarily why she wasn’t wearing her usual high-heels, Regina felt herself staring at Emma’s eyes, the green darkened and covered in thousands of dirty-white specs of magic that made her tremble.

“Regina.” The blonde’s voice was rougher, devoid of the gentle reminder from earlier, hazy and quick on the way air came out of her mouth. “If you don’t kiss me right…”

Emma never needed to finish her sentence as Regina rose her hands and, tearing the list from the blonde’s hands, pulled her closer so roughly they both almost fell, her mouth searching Emma’s in an attempt to show her that, yes, god yes, she wanted to kiss her. Right now.

Panting just slightly as she felt Emma’s lips following suit, Regina closed her eyes and cupped Emma’s cheek, skillfully letting her hand go further, pulling the blonde’s locks on her hand and quickly pulling that into a fist, sinking herself further into Emma’s embrace.

Finally.


End file.
